A new look and feel, a new chance to learn and grow, new
clients friends to get to know, new babies. Yes, I’m excited.
Back in March I truly thought I had put this business on the shelf indefinitely. I was doing a horrible job at the things I wanted to do best. I’d waited my whole life to be a mom and a wife and I was failing because I was pouring too much time and energy into another, newer, love – photography. My kids were growing up shockingly fast and I was finding babysitters for them while I took pictures of other people’s kids.
Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE other people’s kids.
Sometimes more than my own. 😉 But I was BORN…no…MADE to be a mom. And a wife.All the other little girls in elementary school had big plans for their lives – lawyers, rock stars, ballerinas. I knew what I wanted to be when I was very little. I wanted to be a mom. Like my mom. And a wife, like my mom. I didn’t even make college plans because when it came right down to it, I had no clue what I wanted to do other than that – it hadn’t yet occurred to me that I needed a “back-up plan”. Fortunately, I was right. I’m a wife to the most wonderful man and a mom to three truly awesome kids. And then enters this new talent that I never knew I would be good at – photography!
From there you could pretty much watch me JUMP off the deep end and tread water. All the while trying to hold up three kids, a husband, a home and -oh yeah- a business. I never was good at juggling. (Nor treading water.) And so rather than be good at any of those things, I was pretty much mediocre at best at ALL of them. That wasn’t what I was made for!
Last spring I spent one of the best weeks of my life in Chicago. It wasn’t the place that made it so awesome though. It was the company.My 3 sisters and I were together – with no children! – for a week. (This is a big deal because only 2 of us live in Chicago…I am in Florida (duh!) and another is in Norway.) Needless to say, we don’t all get together a lot and we DEFINITELY don’t do it without our families!
We spent the week reminiscing, laughing, hugging, laughing more – oh yeah and CRYING. A lot.Well, for only, like, 2 days – then we got it all out and went back to laughing. Each of us shared where we were at in our lives and what’s been going on. What our expectations were or had been and if we’d realized them. Our struggles and the things that encourage us. I personally was taking a long look at where I was at. I was failing miserably at keeping my home a home. I was barely managing to, well, manage my business. My kids (who I pray will someday not remember any of this!) were spending more time with babysitters or “the” babysitter (TV) than they were with me. My sweet husband was trying to understand WHY I was willing to sacrifice so many things that were important to me, but it wasn’t something I was willing to talk about.
Anyway, sitting there in Chicago – away from my home, husband, kids, business and ALL the obligations that go along with life – I realized something. I needed a break. Obviously not from the family stuff. (Although I won’t lie – a vacation away from it ALL now and then isn’t a bad idea!)But from the business stuff. My priorities were all cock-a-maimey. (I was hoping I’d be able to use that word!) And the only way I could see around continuing in my rut was to STOP. The decision to STOP was the hardest part. As soon as I made up my mind an enormous weight lifted off my chest. I felt free. One HUGE self-imposed stress was gone and BY GOLLY I was going to straighten things out. I was going to be successful – at the things I was MADE to do.And then, someday, I was going to trust that God would bring back this new love in my life, photography, and allow me a fresh start with it.
As of now, that day has come. I have absolutely NO intentions of being the photographer who is booked every weekend or works long hours every night after her family has gone to bed. I have the BEST intentions of making each and every client feel incredibly important and hopefully FULL of joy as they experience their session images. I’ve changed a LOT of details in my business but I feel like each change is not only good for ME and my ability to provide an awesome
product, but each change is good for the families I will work with as well.
Right now, I am so excited. I had my break. I learned a lot about myself – the things I CAN do and the many things I CAN’T. Turns out there’s not one thing that I can do on my own – but God is teaching me, instead, to trust Him each and every moment, big and small. I’m excited that 25 years into my life with Him, He is still teaching me simple truths – and I’m so thankful to continue to learn them. (I’m still working on retaining these lessons…)
January 2012 is a fresh start for me, Elisabeth. A chance to find a balance between what I MUST do and what I WANT to do. Most everything I “must” do, I want to do (aside from the dishes…anyone want to do that?) – and I’m learning there are only so many things that I can say “yes” to, no matter how much I WANT to do them.
January 2012 is a fresh start for Elisabeth Nixon Photography. I’m excited to see what this year will bring and am hopeful for growth as a photographer and a business owner. I look back and cannot believe where I came from – and I look ahead and have such grand visions of the future.Fortunately, I don’t have to do much other than dream for right now…Someone MUCH more suited for taking care of things holds my future in His hands – phew!
Thanks for reading as I pour out my heart – I promise not to do this too much. I did want to explain though – where I went, and why I’m back.Oh yeah – a picture.Me and my beautiful sisters. (I’m on the top left, for those who still can’t tell us apart.)